bilingualism

instead of writing a french essay, i am going to discuss my own experiences with dual language fluency, why it's both amazing and detrimental, and yet always fascinating. (because i am a 'linguist,' probably)

my default for a lot of words and phrases is french. in the previous sentence, i originally wrote "yet toujours fascinating." recently i have taken to saying "in train of" instead of "in the middle of." i say it, get weird looks, and then realize it's not an appropriate english phrase.

because i spend hours at a time in my french classes, which are back to back, i've seen a weird progression that i didn't notice even in paris. which i think is because there, i wasn't also taking english classes a la fois. er, at the time. but the thing is, i do most of my reading and most of my essay writing in french. and i have a hell of a lot of work this semester for my french classes, so let's just say that most of my homework involves reading and writing in french. if not basically all, since i rarely do my english homework.

now i find that when i have to write anything, i am at a loss for english connecting words. "however," "furthermore," etc, all must be translated in my head from french. ce qui est troublant, et really makes my english work much worse than it used to be. i was once upon a time quite a stellar essay writer, and now everything is so basic, because i translate it. from my non-native language.

i guess it has to do with compartmentalization. i write essays in french. i've written maybe a grand total of 3 papers in english my entire time at college. so it makes sense, i guess. it's just such a weird feeling.

perhaps the most embarrassing is when i have to write something up at work, or if i'm in the middle of giving a book report (orally) and there is a long pause because i am searching searching searching for the english word for 'rapport'. which is, of course, relationship.

and right now, i am at a loss for both a french and an english word. when i try to think in neither (or both) language(s) at the same time, my thoughts become really fuzzy.

it's annoying but secretly i think it's wonderful. because my major is linguistics and what i am most fascinated in is language development...

what's maybe the worst is that non-linguistics majors, non-french friends (which, after freshman year and a semester in paris, i have very few of), and basically everyone from long island thinks i do it on purpose and am a snob. but whatever. can't be helped.

now off to find that word...