i feel the depression of last semester slipping back into my life.
i don't know what happened. i was so happy all year so far... and now i just don't want to do anything except cry, and it's a gorgeous day out and i don't want to get dressed and i don't feel like being outside.

and i don't want to be alone but i don't want to be around other people. and i can't really think of anything to look forward to.

i wish bryan were here, but he's not. so i wish jesse were here, but he's god-know's-where in southern europe...

i had a bad dream the other night and it's stayed with me ever since, and on top of that, everyone is annoying me and i feel like nobody cares, (even though this time i am certain that i have tons of friends, so i admit that this is just my fucked up head making things up)

and i feel like time is slipping away and i'm wasting it, and i'm not doing what i want and i don't know what i want.

and at the moment i feel like there is nothing good in the world.