nyu has killed me. i am unable to have other non-nyu, non-nyc friends.
it just doesn't work out anymore.
nobody understands me.
you can't say things like "i don't think there's anything wrong with that, i just don't want to see two dudes kissing." you can't say that to me, because though i know it's not really your fault, it's society's fault and you're just ignorant, i will judge you. and i could think so highly of you, and the moment something like that comes out of your mouth, it's done. and i wish it weren't. i wish i could just let people be who they are (--except they can't, so there's that), but i can't. i feel like in laughing uncomfortably, in not saying something back, in continuing to associate myself with these people, i feel like i'm betraying my friends.
and so i can't do it.
and so i have no long island friends. no friends from high school.
and so i will be alone for the summer, counting the days til i am back in a city with my people.
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I don't think NYU has ruined you. Perhaps the city life makes your more cognizant than others about the way life is. That makes you a better person.
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