another attempt, in boredom

how many blogs have i tried to start since high school? how many have i kept up with?

it's a new year and i guess maybe this time will be different. i know i say that every time.

long island is so boring, yet so calm. snow has been falling since i woke up - at an ungodly hour, due to my jet-lag which refuses to go away - and it muffles and blankets everything. there is nothing to be done on a such a snow y day, except for make pots and pots of tea and reading while curled up in the armchair with a blanket.

i wanted to spend the day with katy and the babies. they always keep me distracted for awhile and i like when amelia kisses my face. she will be a year old in a week, but i only met her six months ago. i still think that's weird.

i am excited and afraid to go back to the city. it has begun to bore me and that scares me. how can new york, the city of energy and movement, the place where nothing stands still for more than two seconds, that keeps buzzing just like neon-neon, how can that feel too familiar and mundane?

if anything, PARIS is boring. how slowly everything (and everyone) moves! and yet i find myself yearning for that joie de vivre.

i never meant for that to happen. no no no no no.