can i stay here with you

i miss that room.

it was basically mine and it smelled like cologne and laundry detergent and i used to fall asleep on the floor.

on vacations, when i would be on long island, i'd often fall asleep on the couch and wake up confused about where i was. i never thought i was in my own bed. i always wanted to be on that floor. to wake up elsewhere made me sad.

i try not to think about the past that much, or i would be continually mourning its loss.

i've had a great life so far, and there are things and people and places and moments in time that i miss so much.

i miss frost valley in 6th grade and i miss lit club after school on fridays and i miss being silly with kristin and cutting class with jesse and 1111 and sitting side by side with josh on my pink and yellow bed, our backs against the wall facing the window, discussing everything as we watched the sun go down and the city lights come up, and everything about bryan, and some things about paris, and people who are dead.