every day i wake up and check my email, thinking maybe i'll get qqch that is like "oh, just kidding!" but it's been a month minus 2 days and i have yet to receive anything of the sort.
am i so naiive? maybe.
but did i ever think this would happen? yes. in the past.
not this year. this year i was trying to trust it. i thought it was stronger.
sans limites, i thought. some of my friends told me.
maybe that wasn't true.
i dare not tell that many people, for it is sad and embarrassing. and nobody really knows what to say to make me feel better anyway. because what would?
part of me is fine. sometimes i can ignore the gaping hole in my heart. and sometimes i pretend everything is fine and it works, i think, or nobody cares enough to notice. and then i come home and ah...
i have to do something about these pictures...
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