lentement dirigé / sensualité

so here's the thing. i don't have much to say -- i just reeeealllyyy don' t want to do my homework.

friday night was disastrous, but such fun at first! twas genvie's birthday party, so we all went out. i drank much too much and upon arriving home, spent an hour in the bathroom throwing it up. yesterday i barely got out of bed.

my life is significantly different with everyone back in it --- holly, molly, gen, cooper --- even taylor and binata and leah. with all of them plus my dear paris friends who i have grown so close to in the last year, plus nick and dennis, i am quite the social butterfly. last semester was awful.

what is up with 21 year old bridget? she throws up way more than she has ever done so in her life, and she is ridiculously mellow, although still of course is la reine de drame (and of mood-swings). she cuts her finger and goes to the hospital and instead of crying, makes jokes about it. i do not know this girl. people seem to like her more, though.

what else is new? on friday at work, i got to do things for michael. that means YOUNG ADULT BOOKS. he really understands what i like. / it takes a special kind of adult person to prefer children's /YA books. and we are both said person. he gave me a book to keep/read and all i want to do is read it right now, instead of having to do homework.

mais si je fais mes devoirs, je peux sortir... the high for today is supposed to be 50, but weather.com already says "53, feels like 53" --- for right now. 8 am. maybe a stroll through chelsea is in order. i have to collect things for bryan's birthday present.

it's annoying that he's so far away, although sometimes i think it's better for now. the last time we lived in the same city --well over a year ago now -- we were killing each other. self-absorbtion vs. crazy equals needy suffocation, not happiness. i'm still obviously crazy, but look how far i've come this year already --- i'm getting there. funnily, most of this change happened in paris, while wandering the champs elysées toute seule.

if things continue the way they are going, that day on the champs might be one of those defining life moments. i've had a lot of false alarms in the past, but my resolve was obviously broken. not this time. not yet.

xoxo, b