twenty-one and (not) invincible

i don't have a myspace anymore.
i deleted it because i didn't want to see danielle's page or see all the comments she wrote on my wall.

i never tell people that's the reason, but i want to.
i just laugh and say "myspace is so high school."

so many things are so high school...so innocent.
never in a million years did i think danielle wouldn't be here anymore.
we barely kept in touch, but she was such a huge part of my life and we were always amicable. and i did miss her. i genuinely liked her so much. she was one of the funniest people i have ever met in my life.

danielle's twenty-first birthday is in three days.
i don't like to think about how vinny or her parents are handling it.
danielle adored vinny. it was so hard to see him at the wake. i can't even imagine...

i remember danielle's ...i guess it was probably 13th birthday. we all slept over in her basement. or really, stayed up all night. and went to the deli the next morning. she and i loved to go to the deli. and the next day i went home and had to go to church. and i fell asleep. in church. and we were sitting in the second row, too. i've never been so tired. such a fun night. i learned a lot about wicca that night, from jessica...


i can't believe danielle is dead. i think about her almost every day. and when a few days go by and i don't, and then i remember again, i am shocked and i get like this and it hurts all over again.


goddammit.


it isn't fair.